A Private Vision Shared by All

by Xander Rollins

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1.	Shunday 00:22	lyrics	buy track
Watching her adjust the jacket that covers her shoulders Revealing the soft Sonoran skin beneath My tongue is tied like El Clásico But we're only present like this for but a brief chapter Our lives intertwine like the trans-continental cement roadways that stretch over this once-good Earth The Old Gray album ended as I pulled up to the house 2am but the sky was still a polluted orange color We leave behind so much
2.	Persephone 00:23	lyrics	buy track
Persephone My eternal smile cracks at the thought of seeing your hands decay with age As all things youthful and flourishing must one day go You are the patch of sky still illuminated by the sun on a dreary day Glowingly beholden Engendering both the hopes and wishes universally shared by humanity An untamed rose growing wild within an abandoned European garden Souvenir éternel
3.	The Grey 00:18	lyrics	buy track
Woven words Radicalization doesn't sit well with others But harmful complacency doesn't sit well with me Open your eyes and see the world for what it is The grey mush being churned out by your institution is worth investigating Just look down And actually see what you're consuming Put the spoon down and grab a shovel Rebuild
4.	Diva 00:09	lyrics	buy track
Dirty mirror selfies and drinking stories Wasn't much for poetics or allegories She refused to eat Yet was always pleasantly full of herself
5.	Bliss Quest 00:08	lyrics	buy track
There's no time Everything is fragrant Gliding tongues move across lips to taste the rain In nocturnal winter
6.	Sickly Sagittarius 00:16	lyrics	buy track
All your friends are sickly Sagittarius But you know that they can't hang with us I saw them from beneath the bottlebrush Scraping at God's green earthly crust But that dust couldn't be obtained or extracted So my thoughts grew didactic Without faith, cuz I lacked it And drew the entire storyboard for Who Framed Roger Rabbit
7.	I Got a Ride Home with Brandon 00:21	lyrics	buy track
They tore up the field where I learned to play frisbee Nostalgic destruction has me feeling just a bit dizzy I guess this early twenties life crisis finally hit me I'm too impatient to wait for the bus So I walk And think about the people who don't eat the crust Of their pizza They teach ya To complete all tasks Greek life students will never take off their masks But that's their loss
8.	ETHN Readings 00:35	lyrics	buy track
The Spanish forced the indigenous Californians Out of their fertile grasslands, valleys, and lakes Into bland colored walls Malnourished. Diseased. Overworked. Homesick And told them that a white man who had been dead for over a thousand years was their only savior Your families still worship him to this day Then the American white man came along High off of his own Anglo-Saxon ethnocentric ideals The concept of manifest destiny was bound in racial superiority They set up a caste system and discarded the natives Through blatant genocide or casual indifference But no utopia was ever born from the assumed inferiority of being non-Christian Ptolemy lost the empire
9.	G-Cal 00:15	lyrics	buy track
I congratulated Julian on attaining US citizenship As I planned out my birthday celebration Following a long day of work and class and more class I could only make it to frisbee practice for an hour Following a phone call from my brother sharing that his best friend had hung himself that morning
10.	Barrientos 00:19	lyrics	buy track
You followed me around all night Eager to win my affections But I was oblivious to your advances Only until you coerced me to brush my teeth After easing me through my alcohol poisoning rehabilitation Did I understand Asking for my consent before the clothes came off A choker on my nightstand An earring in my bed My heart in your hands
11.	Reflection Eagle 00:12	lyrics	buy track
Scum of the Earth I walk Egoless elitist Spewing advice from a radical mind I am blind On this perch The eagle can see nothing below him But he is closer to God
12.	Home for Grave 00:15	lyrics	buy track
Driving north to shed tears People surprised you're home "Mr. BigShot came back from the city" "What brings you back?" Forgetting that you were once part of this community Forgetting you were a product of their culture Their money Their labor That you are their equal
13.	1/25/17 00:26	lyrics	buy track
Driving down La Cuarta On a sunny California day I wish you were still here George To do keg stands on Half Christmas And catch first down passes on Turkey Day Packing bowls in Pam's garage as a preemptive measure for late night snack attacks Cleaning your vomit out of the backseat of my 'rolla Is but a fond memory now I'm glad the voices in your head are silent I hope you found the serenity you were searching for
14.	Cracked and Bleeding 00:16	lyrics	buy track
Hands are stiff from the lack of rain Cracked and bleeding They huck stones at passing cars To break windshields in frustration From the political climate Which refuses to bring moistured solace So the students at Berkeley make fire With their hands still cracked and closed Fuck fascists
15.	Vertician 00:16	lyrics	buy track
Beyond your addictions you were a charming display Of hope and romance Flickering across pirouettes and brown eyes Patiently waiting to fall in love But not afraid to push things along in the right direction A tornado that brought serenity I longed for your touch
16.	Our Sadness Cannot Be Measured 00:38	lyrics	buy track
I touched the hand of a dead man today On second thought, more so that of a boy 19 years of age doesn't give you much in terms of life experience Embalmed to remain beautiful for all eternity I touched your cold hands, clasped over each other And looked down at your face one last time Before the tears came, just as they do now My brother told me my hair smelled nice And that you would've liked that For a brief moment it helped to ease the pain But I couldn't get over knowing that the face I saw in that casket Was the same face I'd seen sleeping on my couch at Franklin countless times May your memory forever be enshrined
17.	Zach Dear 00:23	lyrics	buy track
I grew my hair out in response to not wanting to be represented by hegemony Of WASP eurocentric teachings that infect our institutions with racial biases Of alpha male fraternal patriarchy that can get a man as far as he wants in life But at what cost? To rape and profile and abuse power without looking out for those below you in status? That is not the right path to follow The earth whispers her loving polyphony And I want to translate it back to you
18.	Angeles de la Frontera 00:22	lyrics	buy track
People have migrated from one place to another since the dawn of humanity. There is nothing illegal about wanting to free oneself from violence, poverty, humanitarian crises or economic enslavement. The militarization of our borders and adjacent communities has contributed to racial prejudice, distrust, misunderstanding and worst of all: death. Human lives are not chess pieces to be exploited.
19.	Goldfish 00:11	lyrics	buy track
Let's make like goldfish and eat ourselves to death I'm staring at empty wishing wells Wondering what is left The calm has consumed me And now these lungs are dry Cue the fireflies
20.	Can't Be Saved 00:16	lyrics	buy track
What can be said that you have never once heard? Your eyes are solitary lakes Offering refuge from western civilization Of which I've slowly grown tired Their radiant serenity calms me But I must look away before I eternally lose myself For there is danger in beauty
21.	Locked Out of the Magic Theater 00:31	lyrics	buy track
Guesswork changes Slipper knots Ergonomic calculations Never failed to fail me deeply Sunken wishes in an old school factory It's olfactory But tangible Unlike this parable Which only leaves me feeling bruised and confused Locked out of the magic theater And that's the only place where I want to be Micaela's in there And all my hopes and dreams are entangled within this butterfly net of my consciousness But I broke lent too many times to remain truly ethical And if morals still remain Then I guess my ideals are confined to the abstract walls of this labyrinth
22.	Tree Root 00:15	lyrics	buy track
My brother's throat is scratched out From the nicotine and tobacco He's chosen to cope with I'm running from my problems he says But in a sense we all are It takes a rare breed of man To stare down his demons In daring confrontation of success
23.	No Ceremony 00:11	lyrics	buy track
Crush my dreams Like the woman you were meant to be Espousing chastity But there will be no ceremony Locked up Without a key Your empty words helped flood the rising sea
24.	Drunk Walks Home 00:17	lyrics	buy track
The purple flower blooms have closed up for the night Taking refuge from existence while their life source sleeps Jackhammers echo through the hollow structures Yet to be completed Transport trucks and drunk drivers Are bathed in the illumination of the urban sunlight There is no sleep
25.	Torpey 00:38	lyrics	buy track
Timeless drives on well-travelled highways with worn wheels The radiant girl who was made fun of for being too tall when she was younger Stares back at me Facial features immaculate and still In that calm demeanor which she always exudes Musing over a longing to dance salsa again You found the beauty of artistic expression at a young age While your dad ashed cigarettes in habitual fashion An unwillingness to make peace with the desert A stubborn reluctance to branch out from home Alameda County etched itself into your heart It became your essence But those soft Colombian eyes shroud what is left hidden behind the curtain In a language I'll never truly comprehend
26.	Namaga 00:21	lyrics	buy track
I closed the book of poems on the couch And daydreamed of placing my face in between your outstretched legs As you grinned and twisted with irregular breath Not knowing how to best express your pleasure My hands gently glided across your soft skin While my tongue lept at the taste of the most delicate parts of your soul It was all a dream
27.	Lisanc 00:18	lyrics	buy track
You remind me of the beauty of the trees Calm and lush, breathing peacefully You are my love of nature personified Carved from the womb of pachamama A child of Earthly purity You have grown into a goddess men write songs for We will shout our love from the peaks of mountains
28.	Atacama 00:28	lyrics	buy track
The streets of progress are littered with the broken bones of dead socialists Martyred fighting for a just cause Abandoned in Atacama Pushed out of planes in the deep Pacific Chileans deserved better than a Kissinger of death Just to line the pockets of those chasing profit Like an addiction to drinking water It's not too late until it is Sew up the hole and the game is up Privatize the public sphere and we all lose Goods can't be purchased when the people are poor There are grotesque holes in the system Tear it down
29.	The California Homes We Grew Up In 00:22	lyrics	buy track
I'm sitting here staring at this blank screen Wanting to write a romantic poem addressed to you For teasing out my drunken lust And extracting thoughts from the inner cavities of my chest at 4am But all I can think of is using the word 'permaculture' And remark how I wish to be holding you in my arms When the sea levels rise up to our waists And flood the California homes we grew up in
30.	Depleted Roots 00:11	lyrics	buy track
Depleted roots The soil is thin And the water is weak I sit on the border of solace Lacking sustenance to flourish I wither
31.	But Is He Enough? 00:19	lyrics	buy track
Pronounced the Jew komodo Locomotive "Abstract is back, Jack!" Grab your flask Proceed to the exit That's it You are only what you consume Learning of the world through memes No longer able to seize the means Of your education They privatized it The solidarity of the common man will pierce through greed God wills it But is He enough?
32.	The American Existence 00:34	lyrics	buy track
Things didn't go as planned Nothing ever goes as planned I read Ginsberg on the bus today As I drove overlooking the highway Millions of people going to all their fascinating places Work, home, vacation, graves Adam asked my brother what was wrong with nationalism Forgetting World War II was a thing We could have lost I could be Japanese Eating sushi, revering art Staring out the window as cars drive below me Unaware of their ignorance Believing solutions will arise from the problems they create Linearity: a false pretext of the American existence
33.	This Phone Is a Cell 00:38	lyrics	buy track
Turn it off, turn it off Event invites Tagged in memes I can't pause to think Turn it off, turn it off Games and flashing lights Music. Constantly In the palm of my hand Turn it off, turn it off Political updates Satirical sports fandom Pop culture. Worldstar Turn it off, turn it off Snapchat nudes Dissipating conversations Promises I don't intend to keep Turn it off I am sick I am addicted Turn it off I type these words It's 4am My productivity is nothing Am I even human? Lock this away!!
34.	Caliphate Salivate 00:24	lyrics	buy track
My wrists are sore, piss poor Governmental policies archaic like the dinosaurs Ain't no justification for all this leftist hate Set a date, can't wait Kansas is a failed state Just like the ISIS caliphate I salivate over what can only be considered monumental achievements Or bereavements All the sacrifices those before us gave To pave the way Even a blind horse will still eat the hay Or maybe that's just what they want us to say
35.	Cosmic Revolution 00:22	lyrics	buy track
Succeeding only through failure The vivid colors dripped through colloquial monotony And dipped behind the illusioned plains This was the new dawning A prophetic hope whispered by the ones whose steps paved the roads we walk today Ancient wisdom, gleaning light from stardust Cascading across open wounds Pain melted away in the cosmic revolution
36.	Footsteps. Naiveté. 00:15	lyrics	buy track
Naiveté The backbone of the American spirit We wandered through Joshua Tree Driving after the sunset listening pleasantly to early established blues Wondering who had once left steps before us
37.	Pooled Pristinity 00:23	lyrics	buy track
Tiger moon Orwellian sunset Caught in a drifting rain The clouds have sunk Strapped into our leather seats We watch the news for entertainment And proclaim ourselves as superior We pause to suggest that we are bored Yet have never bothered to escape from beyond our manufactured borders Let alone traveled within ourselves to reach into our most guarded thoughts The lake lies untouched
38.	A Shaded Lawn in Summer 00:57	lyrics	buy track
The sun glared down with its omnipotent vision And I watched as steady hands smoothed out the air from beneath a freshly placed bumper sticker "Do Good" it read As if the possibility even existed of you ever committing an unfavorable act You rose with elegance upon the completion of your task "Thank you" I whispered As the rays gleamed off the light-blue polish of perfectly manicured nails You took photos of the blooming flowers beneath the Magnolia tree And I paused in a fleeting attempt to bathe within your beauty Like a shaded lawn in summer You were perfection Shrouded by playful patterns and lines Your skin was nowhere to be found And with nothing to objectify that day I learned to appreciate the life in your eyes The joy in your smile The grace of your intellect On a warm July Friday morning Respect and pure admiration cascaded over me Like a tropical wave kissed by Mother Earth herself A shaded lawn in summer

about

Poems written from December 12th - July 24th of 2017

Recorded in two separate sessions on September 27th and October 4th of 2017 in University City, California

Cover photo of Pacific Beach, California

credits

released October 11, 2017

Special thanks to Alphonse for letting me borrow his recording equipment and to all those whose lives have intersected with mine and inspired me to write.